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 As a Black woman, twigs is at higher-than-average risk for physical and sexual violence and psychological abuse; instead of focusing on why she and other abuse survivors didn’t fit a particular timeline, why not focus on the specific ways in which the existing system consistently fails women of color? We’re rarely best served by applying a one-size-fits-all lens to narratives of abuse, and while it might be challenging to fully and individually grapple with a case like twigs’s, it’s no less than what she—and every survivor of abuse—deserves. As cultural artifacts like the recent New York Times Britney Spears documentary force us to reckon with the ways in which we’ve objectified and devalued female celebrities, can we extend that collective reckoning to abuse survivors who happen to be in the public eye?

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As survivors testify, to make the choice to leave an abusive relationship requires courage. The process of actually leaving constitutes the most dangerous time for survivors of domestic abuse, with up to 75% of female abuse survivors who are murdered being killed after they leave their partners; unfortunately, even access to support and financial resources doesn’t always ensure safety. In light of all that, it’s long past time for us to stop asking survivors why they stayed; instead, let’s ask what we, as a society, can do to make it easier for them to feel safe leaving.

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